I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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