Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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