If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
