my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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