Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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