Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
