I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
