I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize