2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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