Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
