i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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