It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
