didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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