"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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