I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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