If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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