yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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