FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
