I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
