I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
