Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and โwhat the hell is wrong with youโ
Randomize
