so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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