...so i touched it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
