I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize