that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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