Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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