I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.