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• (806): View more from Texas

  So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers

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• (315): View more from New York

  I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.

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• (323): View more from California

  Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not

  (818): View more from California

  Stop it right now

  (323): View more from California

  This time face forward

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies

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• (646): View more from New York

  I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.

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