butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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