Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
