so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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