I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
