8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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