Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
