I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
