I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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