last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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