I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
