I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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