question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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