I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
