Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
