I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
