We won't sleep together?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
