Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
How external is "for external use only"?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm both gender and math confused
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
