fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
