I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
