yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
