You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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