So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
