I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
