There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize