??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
