the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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