i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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