dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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