Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
