that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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