the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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