I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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