sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
