it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
