My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
