thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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