dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
